How Dare You !!

I am absolutely furious that some of You are daring to take part in illegal strike action, because We have been forced to bring in Italian and Portuguese British skilled workmen to do the work that You unskilled sassenach baboons can't. You know perfectly well that I, Your leader, am not a Tory ( You can tell as I am doing everything I can in these difficult GLOBAL times, which started in AMERICA, whereas the TORIES WOULD DO NOTHING. ) so You are not permitted to go on strike on My watch. I, Your leader, am ordering You to cease forthwith this illegal action, You wouldn't like Me when I'm angry ( the tea lady didn't like it just now when I threw My mobile phone at Her and She ran off crying because She forgot My paris bun, well its not My fault it's Yours and that do-nothing, lah-di-dah, Tory fop Camerons as well. ) Now I've mentioned Him I'm really angry, if He dares to question the way I run the country tomorrow I'm going to have Him arrested for sedition, wheres that Paul Stephensons number? He owes Me one now. You had all better write to the tea lady and apologise.

How Great I am !!

Serious New Year greetings to all my subjects, I believe this will be a magnificent year, in spite of the global crisis, which started in America. Do not concern yourselves, continue to earn money to spend ( not on alcohol or tobacco, ) so I may collect revenues to spend on the right things like keeping watch on Your criminal behaviour, and also reminding You that the tories would do nothing. In spite of what some of My more shiftless ministers have been saying I will not be calling an election this year as this would be an inconvenience to Me as well as You, so I will continue to lead You out of My own public spiritedness, until such time as I can remove illegal parties such as the tories, who would do nothing, and are not fit to oppose my party.