I would like to wish You all a serious Christmas, this Year I'm allowing Christmas in spite of the problems which started in America. I hope You have spent a lot of money for Christmas to help with the crisis which started in America. I have generously reduced VAT by 2.5% to help all You hard pressed families spend money, the Tories would have done nothing, I will be collecting the extra tax from You soon when things become easier, which should be about 3 months from now. By then You will feel the benefits of low interest rates, (not the 15% rates set by the Tories,who would do nothing. in the 1990's boom and bust years, when You had no jobs and Your houses were reposessed). Also I have made food and petrol cheaper to help hard pressed families, the Tories would do nothing. Please ensure You do not drink too much, or smoke, waste food, or offend any non-Christians, especially Muslims (not the evil jihadis My soldiers are bravely fighting in Afghanistan, but the peaceful non jihadi British Muslims here.) Did I remember to say You can enjoy Christmas becauseI saved the world.
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